For Better Or For Worse...

But you, O Lord, are a shield about me,

my glory, and the lifter of my head.

4 I cried aloud to the Lord,

and he answered me from his holy hill.  Psalm 3:3-4

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,

my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,

my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:2

The name of the Lord is a strong tower;

the righteous man runs into it and is safe.  Proverbs 18:10

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.  Romans 5:1-5

Okay, I know some of you probably just read those and wondered: "what the heck is going on here?"  I'll let you all in on a little secret:  sometimes I need to remind myself of Who is really in control here.  I need to remember Who's child I am.  I am a child of God, a daughter of the Most High King.  That does not mean that I am impermeable to trials and sufferings, though.  And I think that sometimes I forget that.  And when the rug gets pulled out from under me, I tend to have difficulties praising God through my circumstances.  I know that everything happens for a reason.  I know that every circumstance will bring Him glory.  I understand all that.  It doesn't make the storms any easier to weather, though.
And I am not complaining.  This is not what this post is about.  I believe it is more along the lines of "growing in the valleys"  Yeah, that's a good way to put it, I think.  Partially because I have yet to meet someone who does all their growing from the mountaintop.  I think that the reason God uses the devastating, the bad, the sufferings to bring us to a place of humility.  It's nearly impossible to grow when your head is in the clouds.  It goes much more smoothly if you are on your knees.  Now, this isn't to say that there is no growth from a mountaintop, and if you have only grown when life has been good, then more power to ya.  But from personal experience (mostly because I am a stubborn fool), I can look back and see the periods where I had the most growth spiritually were the times when I was going through some pretty harsh stuff.
Just a word to you "young" Christians out there: don't trust anyone who promises you that following God will make your life easier.  It won't.  But that isn't to say that it isn't worth it.  Believe you me, it is.  There is no greater worth than Jesus Christ.

Hello to all you out there in Cyberspace!  Hope you are staying cool in this heatwave that we have going on right now. 
I just have to say it: I love my life.  Even when things start to go rough like they are getting riight now, I still love my life.  I look around me and all I see is how God has blessed me.  I have breath in my lungs, four beautiful and healthy children, family and friends that love me dearly, as I love them, and a church that helps me to grow in my faith and walk my talk.  I am blessed beyond measure because I am one of the chosen ones.  One that God picked before the foundations of the earth.  One that He sent His Son to bear the punishment for.  One who has been forgiven, redeemed, and adopted.  Yep, I am blessed.
I am in the middle of a little Bible study.  I was driving earlier and my mind was wandering (as so often happens), and I don't want to give anymore away until I am done with this study, but I will say that this has been a very interesting topic thusfar and I believe that it may open some of your eyes out there in Cyberspace. (okay, so that last sentence was a major run-on...and on and on...) I'm totally psyched about this though and I can't wait to share with you all the things that I learn so we can grow in our walk together.  Woot Woot!
I got my hair cut the other day.  I went from having hair down to about the middle of my back to now being able to spike it in the back.  Now, some of you may be thinking that I am crazy, but I have had it this short many times before, and am actually more comfortable with short hair than I am with long hair.  You know how people will say that a certain hairstyle or look makes them feel more confident?  Well, having my hair like this makes me feel sassy.  I guess you can say that it makes me feel more confident.
So...I have been reading these books that come very highly recommended by my aunt.  They are the Sookie Stackhouse novels.  The show True Blood on HBO is based on them.  I like them so far.  I have found that I like almost any vampire book that I read.  There is only one problem with this, though.  I keep having dreams about vampires.  Not necessarily a bad thing, but definitely wierd.
My 10 year class reunion is coming up.  I am actually looking forward to it, though.  I wasn't very popular with the popular crowd, though I was popular within my group of friends.  I just want to go and have a good time.  I would like to hope that we have all grown up since our high school days, but you never know.  Don't get me wrong, my high school wasn't super-cliquey, but there were the obvious groups.  You know: the jocks, the "stoners", the artsy ones, etc.  There was a lot of overlap in them though, and for the most part, everyone got along with everyone else.  I don't remember having any really big conflicts with anyone in high school.  I look at some of the yearbooks that I have from back then, though and think to myself "Man, we were just babies back then!"  How time flies...
I had a dream last night that I went to my HS reunion and all of my former classmates were all vampires.  I wonder if that is a subconscious sign that I may be reading too many vampire books, lol. 
I am volunteering tomorrow at the River of Life booth at the CCF.  I am actually looking forward to it although I am not really good at facepainting and my balloon animal-making skills kind of suck.  I can do temp tattoos with the best of them though.  I wonder if I will be seeing a particular tall dark handsome not-a-stranger there.  Would be nice...I know that I keep saying that I am not looking to date right now, but it would still be nice to be asked, you know what I mean?  If this certain tall dark handsome not-a-stranger (talk about carpal tunnel, lol) were to, idk, ask me out for, say, a cup of coffee or lunch, or some other such thing, I surely would not turn him down.
Well, I am tired, so I will be heading off to la-la land.  Hopefully to not dream about vampires...

Lovingly yours,
A

How Forgiveness Feels...

Have you ever wondered what it feels like to be forgiven?   I mean REALLY forgiven.  I often wonder what this being forgiven thing feels like, and I think that I may have found an interesting story that explains it perfectly.  I'm sure that you all know this one, but just in case you don't, I'll give you a little background.  Jesus has just prophesied His own betrayal and death for the umpteenth time, and tells his disciples that when He is handed over to His enemies, they will all fall away (forsake Him).  Peter (formerly known as Simon) says that he would never fall away.  Jesus tells Peter that he will deny Him three times before the rooster crows.  Peter answers "Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!" Matthew 26:35
Well, Jesus indeed is betrayed by one of His own disciples and handed over to his enemies.  All of the disciples scatter and flee, including Peter.  But he follows the guards that have taken Jesus and ends up in the courtyard of Caiaphas, the High Priest, where more of our story plays out.
"Now Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard.  And a servant girl came up to him and said, "You also were with Jesus the Galilean."  But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you mean."  And when he went out to the entrance, another servant girl saw him, and she said to the bystanders, "This man was with Jesus of Nazareth."  And again he denied it with an oath: "I do not know the man."  After a little while the bystanders came up and said to Peter, "Certainly you too are one of them, for your accent betrays you."  Then he began to invoke a curse on himself and to swear, "I do not know the man."  And immediately the rooster crowed.  And Peter remembered the saying of Jesus, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times,"  And he went out and wept bitterly."  Matthew 26:69-75
Have you done something like this?  When times get tough, do you get going?  Do you run?  Do you blame God?  It's so easy when life throws you garbage to put your nose to the grindstone and try to go it alone.  I've done it, still do sometimes.  Let me ask you something:  How's that tactic working out for you?  I can tell you from personal experience that it doesn't.  It's stressful, overwhelming, and exhausting, this "turn your back" method.  It isn't easy to run from God.  It may come second nature for some of us, but it isn't easy by far.  What does all of this have to do with forgiveness?  Remember our story doesn't end there.  Short version: Jesus is beaten and crucified.  And all of those followers?  Let's find out...
On a sidenote:  When I am doing a Bible study, I try to put myself in the person's shoes that I am reading about.  Try to see things through their eyes, feel what they felt, etc.  It helps me understand the story better.  So we will try this here:  imagine you meet this man who says He is the Son of God.  You follow Him, giving up everything in the process (your job, your family, your old life).  You put your heart and soul into learning from this man.  He tells you things you have never heard before and does miracles.  He is amazing beyond words.  You would follow Him anywhere...then He dies.  Not only does He die, the whole thing plays out just as He said it would.  And you put your trust in Him.  You thought He was a Savior, the Messiah you have been taught about for as long as you can remember.  How would you feel?  I would feel afraid, uncertain, angry, confused, and that's just scratching the surface.  Now, imagine you are Peter.  You said you would die before you denied Him, and you just did it three times.  Devastation doesn't even begin to describe it.  How could you ever be forgiven for that?
Fast forward to John 21.  Jesus has been resurrected.  The Son of God has beaten death!  Everyone is rejoicing!  Well, they should be, at least.  But if I were Peter, I would be feeling immense shame. 
"When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?"  He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you."  He said to him, "Feed my lambs."  He said to him a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?"  He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Tend my sheep,"  He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?"  Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, "Do you love me?" and he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you."  Jesus said to him, "Feed my sheep."  John 21:15-17
Now, I believe that this is Jesus' way of saying "Let it go.  You are forgiven.  Now go do what you were commanded to do:  Tend to my sheep."  When I read this, I am overwhelmed.  This story brings tears to my eyes.  Even when we are not faithful, He is faithful.  Thank God for this, because I know that more times than not, I prove myself to be a Peter, denying Him when times get tough.  I am crying right now, because I am being convicted even as I write this.  How much time have I spent feeling shame, instead of accepting God's forgiveness?  I am done feeling exhausted, getting beaten because I continue to try to "go it alone".  Beloved, do you have something that you need to ask God's forgiveness for?  Well, do it.  He is faithful.  You will be forgiven.  Stop being beaten, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.  What a freeing feeling to be forgiven, I can only imagine the flood of emotions that Peter must have felt.
Well, I have to get off to bed, I have church in the morning.  God bless!

A

Up on my soapbox again...

If there is one thing that I cannot stand, it is someone who continually complains about their walk, yet does nothing.  Now, by nothing, I mean exactly that.  There is an excuse for everything.  Their life is so completely full that they have no time to spend in the Word.  No time for a 5-minute devotion.  Not even time to spend reading the Bible with their children.  The church ultimately becomes responsible for showing the children how to walk with the Lord.  But unfortunately, many times the children end up becoming just like their parents:  complainers.  Would you like some cheese with that whine?  I find it really interesting to talk with people like this because they always seem to have time to update their Facebook status every hour on the hour, check out all their friends' Facebook statuses, shop online, read other books, etc.  But in all of this apparent busy-ness, there is no time left to abide.  We are told in John 15 that Christ is the Vine and we are the branches. (John 15:4)  We cannot bear fruit outside of Him.  (John 15:5)  Our walk will falter without this abiding that we are commanded to do.  As a matter of fact, Jesus goes on to say: "If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned."  Ouch, sounds painful.
Not only that, think about this rationally.  Why would you want to stray from your Heavenly Father?  The God of the universe, who sent his Son to be a sacrifice, to pay the price for your sin?  This may come as a surprise, but one day Facebook will be gone.  You won't be able to update your status anymore, nor will you be able to keep up with the Jones' because the Jones' won't matter.  That cool new TV show?  Gone in a blink of an eye, along with all of the neat new things that you "had to have".  What will matter then?  In the end, it will come down to this:  did you abide?  Did you take time out of your busy day, out of your hectic life to give thanks and spend time with the One who gave you the breath in your lungs?  Did you glorify Him by not obsessing over what you don't have and what you want or think you need, but instead put your focus on how He has blessed you beyond measure?
So, quit complaining, stop making excuses, and start living what you claim to believe.  Log off of Facebook, turn off your computer, unplug the TV, and silence your phone.  Grab your Bible, brush off the layer of dust that has collected on it, and open it up.  And abide.  Spend time with the One who picked you out of creation and said "This one is mine".  You may just find that life isn't so hard, not so overwhelming.
(For those of you who just got offended by reading this: I wrote this for you.  I have heard enough complaining and belly-aching to last me a lifetime, and frankly, enough is enough.  And you know what:  so has everyone else.  Give us all a break.  Sometimes life sucks.  Deal with it.  Quit making excuses for not spending time in the Word.  We are all busy.  But some of us know how to prioritize our time.)

Lovingly yours,
A