Oh my my, it's been a while. Well maybe not, but it feels like forever to me. Having one of those sleepless nights. You know the ones I am talking about. Where your body is screaming "Go to sleep you dolt!" but your mind just won't shut off. Yep, that's me. I'm blaming it on the caffeine.
So, I made it through the rest of the Sookie Stackhouse novels without any more side effects, lol. Good series, though. I recommend it to anymore vampire buffs who may be reading this. Starting on another series now. It's the Vampire Academy series. Still in the beginning of the first book, so I can't tell you my opinion as of yet, but as soon as I form one, you will be the first (or second) to know...
I made it through my first year serving at the River booth at CCF. I loved it! I am now kicking myself in the butt for not serving earlier! I learned how to make balloon animals (so I can apply for a job as a clown if the DC thing doesn't work out, lol), I got to meet the missionaries from TX, and I got to love up on the community! I had a fantastic time and can't wait for next year to do it all over again!
So my tall handsome not-a-stranger (we'll just call him CH for the sake of my little hands) still hasn't asked me on a date! I have half a mind to ask him myself. Would it seem wierd to do that? It's been so long since I have been out on a date that I don't know the proper procedure for it anymore. Of course, I have changed since then, too. Plus, it's not like performing open heart surgery or something, it's just a date. Something simple, somewhere public, possibly going in a group setting would be best. I just don't want to scare him away, but I also don't want him to think that I am easy, either. I don't want to be too forward, but I don't have the patience to wait around for him to ask me. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? He could say no, and if he does, it definitely won't ruin my life or anything, so in reality I don't have anything to lose, right? Ugh, when did this all become so hard!?!
Ooh, so I signed new DC clients! I am now full and have a waiting list! I am so excited! My DCC are pretty undisciplined, though. The middle one absolutely refuses to say please, the oldest one has a bit of a foul mouth, and the baby tends to cry unless he is being held. I am working at it, and slowly but surely we are getting everything smoothed out. I feel sorry for them because I can't imagine what it would feel like not to have the security of boundaries. That must be scary. Boundaries are what make children feel safe, and these poor kiddos haven't had that. It will be a challenge, but I am up to it. Just, if you could, be in prayer for me and also for them.
The Grasping God's Word study that I am in on Wed nights has been really insightful for me. I find that I am more prepared to sit down to do my Bible study now that I have the tools to make my quiet time more in-depth. I have started to take some of my favorite verses and use the methods that I have learned and applying it to those verses. It has really opened up my eyes. I have never been a history buff (as a matter of fact, I got my best sleep in my history classes in school), but ever since I have been attending GGW, I find myself enthralled by Biblical history. I find that I have a hard time getting past step one because history is becoming so interesting! I thank God for a pastor who is willing to teach a class on hermeneutics so that we can all learn how to rightly handle God's Word. I have not attended many churches where the pastor encourages you to dig deeper into the Word. We need more pastors out there that are like that, in my opinion.
Well, I am getting tired (finally!) so I am going to get my butt in bed. I have an early morning tomorrow, and then the babes and I are going down to IL for one last visit before school starts and things start getting (more) hectic. Talk to you later! Love you all!!
A
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
For Better Or For Worse...
But you, O Lord, are a shield about me,
The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
The name of the Lord is a strong tower;
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:1-5
Okay, I know some of you probably just read those and wondered: "what the heck is going on here?" I'll let you all in on a little secret: sometimes I need to remind myself of Who is really in control here. I need to remember Who's child I am. I am a child of God, a daughter of the Most High King. That does not mean that I am impermeable to trials and sufferings, though. And I think that sometimes I forget that. And when the rug gets pulled out from under me, I tend to have difficulties praising God through my circumstances. I know that everything happens for a reason. I know that every circumstance will bring Him glory. I understand all that. It doesn't make the storms any easier to weather, though.
And I am not complaining. This is not what this post is about. I believe it is more along the lines of "growing in the valleys" Yeah, that's a good way to put it, I think. Partially because I have yet to meet someone who does all their growing from the mountaintop. I think that the reason God uses the devastating, the bad, the sufferings to bring us to a place of humility. It's nearly impossible to grow when your head is in the clouds. It goes much more smoothly if you are on your knees. Now, this isn't to say that there is no growth from a mountaintop, and if you have only grown when life has been good, then more power to ya. But from personal experience (mostly because I am a stubborn fool), I can look back and see the periods where I had the most growth spiritually were the times when I was going through some pretty harsh stuff.
Just a word to you "young" Christians out there: don't trust anyone who promises you that following God will make your life easier. It won't. But that isn't to say that it isn't worth it. Believe you me, it is. There is no greater worth than Jesus Christ.
And I am not complaining. This is not what this post is about. I believe it is more along the lines of "growing in the valleys" Yeah, that's a good way to put it, I think. Partially because I have yet to meet someone who does all their growing from the mountaintop. I think that the reason God uses the devastating, the bad, the sufferings to bring us to a place of humility. It's nearly impossible to grow when your head is in the clouds. It goes much more smoothly if you are on your knees. Now, this isn't to say that there is no growth from a mountaintop, and if you have only grown when life has been good, then more power to ya. But from personal experience (mostly because I am a stubborn fool), I can look back and see the periods where I had the most growth spiritually were the times when I was going through some pretty harsh stuff.
Just a word to you "young" Christians out there: don't trust anyone who promises you that following God will make your life easier. It won't. But that isn't to say that it isn't worth it. Believe you me, it is. There is no greater worth than Jesus Christ.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Hello to all you out there in Cyberspace! Hope you are staying cool in this heatwave that we have going on right now.
I just have to say it: I love my life. Even when things start to go rough like they are getting riight now, I still love my life. I look around me and all I see is how God has blessed me. I have breath in my lungs, four beautiful and healthy children, family and friends that love me dearly, as I love them, and a church that helps me to grow in my faith and walk my talk. I am blessed beyond measure because I am one of the chosen ones. One that God picked before the foundations of the earth. One that He sent His Son to bear the punishment for. One who has been forgiven, redeemed, and adopted. Yep, I am blessed.
I am in the middle of a little Bible study. I was driving earlier and my mind was wandering (as so often happens), and I don't want to give anymore away until I am done with this study, but I will say that this has been a very interesting topic thusfar and I believe that it may open some of your eyes out there in Cyberspace. (okay, so that last sentence was a major run-on...and on and on...) I'm totally psyched about this though and I can't wait to share with you all the things that I learn so we can grow in our walk together. Woot Woot!
I got my hair cut the other day. I went from having hair down to about the middle of my back to now being able to spike it in the back. Now, some of you may be thinking that I am crazy, but I have had it this short many times before, and am actually more comfortable with short hair than I am with long hair. You know how people will say that a certain hairstyle or look makes them feel more confident? Well, having my hair like this makes me feel sassy. I guess you can say that it makes me feel more confident.
So...I have been reading these books that come very highly recommended by my aunt. They are the Sookie Stackhouse novels. The show True Blood on HBO is based on them. I like them so far. I have found that I like almost any vampire book that I read. There is only one problem with this, though. I keep having dreams about vampires. Not necessarily a bad thing, but definitely wierd.
My 10 year class reunion is coming up. I am actually looking forward to it, though. I wasn't very popular with the popular crowd, though I was popular within my group of friends. I just want to go and have a good time. I would like to hope that we have all grown up since our high school days, but you never know. Don't get me wrong, my high school wasn't super-cliquey, but there were the obvious groups. You know: the jocks, the "stoners", the artsy ones, etc. There was a lot of overlap in them though, and for the most part, everyone got along with everyone else. I don't remember having any really big conflicts with anyone in high school. I look at some of the yearbooks that I have from back then, though and think to myself "Man, we were just babies back then!" How time flies...
I had a dream last night that I went to my HS reunion and all of my former classmates were all vampires. I wonder if that is a subconscious sign that I may be reading too many vampire books, lol.
I am volunteering tomorrow at the River of Life booth at the CCF. I am actually looking forward to it although I am not really good at facepainting and my balloon animal-making skills kind of suck. I can do temp tattoos with the best of them though. I wonder if I will be seeing a particular tall dark handsome not-a-stranger there. Would be nice...I know that I keep saying that I am not looking to date right now, but it would still be nice to be asked, you know what I mean? If this certain tall dark handsome not-a-stranger (talk about carpal tunnel, lol) were to, idk, ask me out for, say, a cup of coffee or lunch, or some other such thing, I surely would not turn him down.
Well, I am tired, so I will be heading off to la-la land. Hopefully to not dream about vampires...
Lovingly yours,
A
I just have to say it: I love my life. Even when things start to go rough like they are getting riight now, I still love my life. I look around me and all I see is how God has blessed me. I have breath in my lungs, four beautiful and healthy children, family and friends that love me dearly, as I love them, and a church that helps me to grow in my faith and walk my talk. I am blessed beyond measure because I am one of the chosen ones. One that God picked before the foundations of the earth. One that He sent His Son to bear the punishment for. One who has been forgiven, redeemed, and adopted. Yep, I am blessed.
I am in the middle of a little Bible study. I was driving earlier and my mind was wandering (as so often happens), and I don't want to give anymore away until I am done with this study, but I will say that this has been a very interesting topic thusfar and I believe that it may open some of your eyes out there in Cyberspace. (okay, so that last sentence was a major run-on...and on and on...) I'm totally psyched about this though and I can't wait to share with you all the things that I learn so we can grow in our walk together. Woot Woot!
I got my hair cut the other day. I went from having hair down to about the middle of my back to now being able to spike it in the back. Now, some of you may be thinking that I am crazy, but I have had it this short many times before, and am actually more comfortable with short hair than I am with long hair. You know how people will say that a certain hairstyle or look makes them feel more confident? Well, having my hair like this makes me feel sassy. I guess you can say that it makes me feel more confident.
So...I have been reading these books that come very highly recommended by my aunt. They are the Sookie Stackhouse novels. The show True Blood on HBO is based on them. I like them so far. I have found that I like almost any vampire book that I read. There is only one problem with this, though. I keep having dreams about vampires. Not necessarily a bad thing, but definitely wierd.
My 10 year class reunion is coming up. I am actually looking forward to it, though. I wasn't very popular with the popular crowd, though I was popular within my group of friends. I just want to go and have a good time. I would like to hope that we have all grown up since our high school days, but you never know. Don't get me wrong, my high school wasn't super-cliquey, but there were the obvious groups. You know: the jocks, the "stoners", the artsy ones, etc. There was a lot of overlap in them though, and for the most part, everyone got along with everyone else. I don't remember having any really big conflicts with anyone in high school. I look at some of the yearbooks that I have from back then, though and think to myself "Man, we were just babies back then!" How time flies...
I had a dream last night that I went to my HS reunion and all of my former classmates were all vampires. I wonder if that is a subconscious sign that I may be reading too many vampire books, lol.
I am volunteering tomorrow at the River of Life booth at the CCF. I am actually looking forward to it although I am not really good at facepainting and my balloon animal-making skills kind of suck. I can do temp tattoos with the best of them though. I wonder if I will be seeing a particular tall dark handsome not-a-stranger there. Would be nice...I know that I keep saying that I am not looking to date right now, but it would still be nice to be asked, you know what I mean? If this certain tall dark handsome not-a-stranger (talk about carpal tunnel, lol) were to, idk, ask me out for, say, a cup of coffee or lunch, or some other such thing, I surely would not turn him down.
Well, I am tired, so I will be heading off to la-la land. Hopefully to not dream about vampires...
Lovingly yours,
A
Saturday, July 9, 2011
How Forgiveness Feels...
Have you ever wondered what it feels like to be forgiven? I mean REALLY forgiven. I often wonder what this being forgiven thing feels like, and I think that I may have found an interesting story that explains it perfectly. I'm sure that you all know this one, but just in case you don't, I'll give you a little background. Jesus has just prophesied His own betrayal and death for the umpteenth time, and tells his disciples that when He is handed over to His enemies, they will all fall away (forsake Him). Peter (formerly known as Simon) says that he would never fall away. Jesus tells Peter that he will deny Him three times before the rooster crows. Peter answers "Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!" Matthew 26:35
Well, Jesus indeed is betrayed by one of His own disciples and handed over to his enemies. All of the disciples scatter and flee, including Peter. But he follows the guards that have taken Jesus and ends up in the courtyard of Caiaphas, the High Priest, where more of our story plays out.
"Now Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard. And a servant girl came up to him and said, "You also were with Jesus the Galilean." But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you mean." And when he went out to the entrance, another servant girl saw him, and she said to the bystanders, "This man was with Jesus of Nazareth." And again he denied it with an oath: "I do not know the man." After a little while the bystanders came up and said to Peter, "Certainly you too are one of them, for your accent betrays you." Then he began to invoke a curse on himself and to swear, "I do not know the man." And immediately the rooster crowed. And Peter remembered the saying of Jesus, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times," And he went out and wept bitterly." Matthew 26:69-75
Have you done something like this? When times get tough, do you get going? Do you run? Do you blame God? It's so easy when life throws you garbage to put your nose to the grindstone and try to go it alone. I've done it, still do sometimes. Let me ask you something: How's that tactic working out for you? I can tell you from personal experience that it doesn't. It's stressful, overwhelming, and exhausting, this "turn your back" method. It isn't easy to run from God. It may come second nature for some of us, but it isn't easy by far. What does all of this have to do with forgiveness? Remember our story doesn't end there. Short version: Jesus is beaten and crucified. And all of those followers? Let's find out...
On a sidenote: When I am doing a Bible study, I try to put myself in the person's shoes that I am reading about. Try to see things through their eyes, feel what they felt, etc. It helps me understand the story better. So we will try this here: imagine you meet this man who says He is the Son of God. You follow Him, giving up everything in the process (your job, your family, your old life). You put your heart and soul into learning from this man. He tells you things you have never heard before and does miracles. He is amazing beyond words. You would follow Him anywhere...then He dies. Not only does He die, the whole thing plays out just as He said it would. And you put your trust in Him. You thought He was a Savior, the Messiah you have been taught about for as long as you can remember. How would you feel? I would feel afraid, uncertain, angry, confused, and that's just scratching the surface. Now, imagine you are Peter. You said you would die before you denied Him, and you just did it three times. Devastation doesn't even begin to describe it. How could you ever be forgiven for that?
Fast forward to John 21. Jesus has been resurrected. The Son of God has beaten death! Everyone is rejoicing! Well, they should be, at least. But if I were Peter, I would be feeling immense shame.
"When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Feed my lambs." He said to him a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Tend my sheep," He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, "Do you love me?" and he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you." Jesus said to him, "Feed my sheep." John 21:15-17
Now, I believe that this is Jesus' way of saying "Let it go. You are forgiven. Now go do what you were commanded to do: Tend to my sheep." When I read this, I am overwhelmed. This story brings tears to my eyes. Even when we are not faithful, He is faithful. Thank God for this, because I know that more times than not, I prove myself to be a Peter, denying Him when times get tough. I am crying right now, because I am being convicted even as I write this. How much time have I spent feeling shame, instead of accepting God's forgiveness? I am done feeling exhausted, getting beaten because I continue to try to "go it alone". Beloved, do you have something that you need to ask God's forgiveness for? Well, do it. He is faithful. You will be forgiven. Stop being beaten, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. What a freeing feeling to be forgiven, I can only imagine the flood of emotions that Peter must have felt.
Well, I have to get off to bed, I have church in the morning. God bless!
A
Well, Jesus indeed is betrayed by one of His own disciples and handed over to his enemies. All of the disciples scatter and flee, including Peter. But he follows the guards that have taken Jesus and ends up in the courtyard of Caiaphas, the High Priest, where more of our story plays out.
"Now Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard. And a servant girl came up to him and said, "You also were with Jesus the Galilean." But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you mean." And when he went out to the entrance, another servant girl saw him, and she said to the bystanders, "This man was with Jesus of Nazareth." And again he denied it with an oath: "I do not know the man." After a little while the bystanders came up and said to Peter, "Certainly you too are one of them, for your accent betrays you." Then he began to invoke a curse on himself and to swear, "I do not know the man." And immediately the rooster crowed. And Peter remembered the saying of Jesus, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times," And he went out and wept bitterly." Matthew 26:69-75
Have you done something like this? When times get tough, do you get going? Do you run? Do you blame God? It's so easy when life throws you garbage to put your nose to the grindstone and try to go it alone. I've done it, still do sometimes. Let me ask you something: How's that tactic working out for you? I can tell you from personal experience that it doesn't. It's stressful, overwhelming, and exhausting, this "turn your back" method. It isn't easy to run from God. It may come second nature for some of us, but it isn't easy by far. What does all of this have to do with forgiveness? Remember our story doesn't end there. Short version: Jesus is beaten and crucified. And all of those followers? Let's find out...
On a sidenote: When I am doing a Bible study, I try to put myself in the person's shoes that I am reading about. Try to see things through their eyes, feel what they felt, etc. It helps me understand the story better. So we will try this here: imagine you meet this man who says He is the Son of God. You follow Him, giving up everything in the process (your job, your family, your old life). You put your heart and soul into learning from this man. He tells you things you have never heard before and does miracles. He is amazing beyond words. You would follow Him anywhere...then He dies. Not only does He die, the whole thing plays out just as He said it would. And you put your trust in Him. You thought He was a Savior, the Messiah you have been taught about for as long as you can remember. How would you feel? I would feel afraid, uncertain, angry, confused, and that's just scratching the surface. Now, imagine you are Peter. You said you would die before you denied Him, and you just did it three times. Devastation doesn't even begin to describe it. How could you ever be forgiven for that?
Fast forward to John 21. Jesus has been resurrected. The Son of God has beaten death! Everyone is rejoicing! Well, they should be, at least. But if I were Peter, I would be feeling immense shame.
"When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Feed my lambs." He said to him a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love you." He said to him, "Tend my sheep," He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, "Do you love me?" and he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you." Jesus said to him, "Feed my sheep." John 21:15-17
Now, I believe that this is Jesus' way of saying "Let it go. You are forgiven. Now go do what you were commanded to do: Tend to my sheep." When I read this, I am overwhelmed. This story brings tears to my eyes. Even when we are not faithful, He is faithful. Thank God for this, because I know that more times than not, I prove myself to be a Peter, denying Him when times get tough. I am crying right now, because I am being convicted even as I write this. How much time have I spent feeling shame, instead of accepting God's forgiveness? I am done feeling exhausted, getting beaten because I continue to try to "go it alone". Beloved, do you have something that you need to ask God's forgiveness for? Well, do it. He is faithful. You will be forgiven. Stop being beaten, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. What a freeing feeling to be forgiven, I can only imagine the flood of emotions that Peter must have felt.
Well, I have to get off to bed, I have church in the morning. God bless!
A
Up on my soapbox again...
If there is one thing that I cannot stand, it is someone who continually complains about their walk, yet does nothing. Now, by nothing, I mean exactly that. There is an excuse for everything. Their life is so completely full that they have no time to spend in the Word. No time for a 5-minute devotion. Not even time to spend reading the Bible with their children. The church ultimately becomes responsible for showing the children how to walk with the Lord. But unfortunately, many times the children end up becoming just like their parents: complainers. Would you like some cheese with that whine? I find it really interesting to talk with people like this because they always seem to have time to update their Facebook status every hour on the hour, check out all their friends' Facebook statuses, shop online, read other books, etc. But in all of this apparent busy-ness, there is no time left to abide. We are told in John 15 that Christ is the Vine and we are the branches. (John 15:4) We cannot bear fruit outside of Him. (John 15:5) Our walk will falter without this abiding that we are commanded to do. As a matter of fact, Jesus goes on to say: "If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned." Ouch, sounds painful.
Not only that, think about this rationally. Why would you want to stray from your Heavenly Father? The God of the universe, who sent his Son to be a sacrifice, to pay the price for your sin? This may come as a surprise, but one day Facebook will be gone. You won't be able to update your status anymore, nor will you be able to keep up with the Jones' because the Jones' won't matter. That cool new TV show? Gone in a blink of an eye, along with all of the neat new things that you "had to have". What will matter then? In the end, it will come down to this: did you abide? Did you take time out of your busy day, out of your hectic life to give thanks and spend time with the One who gave you the breath in your lungs? Did you glorify Him by not obsessing over what you don't have and what you want or think you need, but instead put your focus on how He has blessed you beyond measure?
So, quit complaining, stop making excuses, and start living what you claim to believe. Log off of Facebook, turn off your computer, unplug the TV, and silence your phone. Grab your Bible, brush off the layer of dust that has collected on it, and open it up. And abide. Spend time with the One who picked you out of creation and said "This one is mine". You may just find that life isn't so hard, not so overwhelming.
(For those of you who just got offended by reading this: I wrote this for you. I have heard enough complaining and belly-aching to last me a lifetime, and frankly, enough is enough. And you know what: so has everyone else. Give us all a break. Sometimes life sucks. Deal with it. Quit making excuses for not spending time in the Word. We are all busy. But some of us know how to prioritize our time.)
Lovingly yours,
A
Not only that, think about this rationally. Why would you want to stray from your Heavenly Father? The God of the universe, who sent his Son to be a sacrifice, to pay the price for your sin? This may come as a surprise, but one day Facebook will be gone. You won't be able to update your status anymore, nor will you be able to keep up with the Jones' because the Jones' won't matter. That cool new TV show? Gone in a blink of an eye, along with all of the neat new things that you "had to have". What will matter then? In the end, it will come down to this: did you abide? Did you take time out of your busy day, out of your hectic life to give thanks and spend time with the One who gave you the breath in your lungs? Did you glorify Him by not obsessing over what you don't have and what you want or think you need, but instead put your focus on how He has blessed you beyond measure?
So, quit complaining, stop making excuses, and start living what you claim to believe. Log off of Facebook, turn off your computer, unplug the TV, and silence your phone. Grab your Bible, brush off the layer of dust that has collected on it, and open it up. And abide. Spend time with the One who picked you out of creation and said "This one is mine". You may just find that life isn't so hard, not so overwhelming.
(For those of you who just got offended by reading this: I wrote this for you. I have heard enough complaining and belly-aching to last me a lifetime, and frankly, enough is enough. And you know what: so has everyone else. Give us all a break. Sometimes life sucks. Deal with it. Quit making excuses for not spending time in the Word. We are all busy. But some of us know how to prioritize our time.)
Lovingly yours,
A
Thursday, June 9, 2011
How long???
Good evening fellow cyberspacers! Writing a little earlier today than normal, but I have to get something off of my chest. Went to court today for child support. I must say that I am officially disgusted with the whole process. First off, B was able to get a public defender FOR A FAMILY MATTER, which I was told they didn't handle. Then, his almighty p.d. didn't show up for court, and B got a continuance! On a contempt hearing! So, when all was said and done, I asked the child support attorney: "How many years behind in child support does he need to be before you guys decide to hold him accountable for his responsibilities?" So she said what anyone trained in diffusing hostile situations would say: "I know exactly how you feel..."
Here's how the conversation went:
Me: "No, obviously you don't know how I feel, because if you had even a small idea, we wouldn't be standing here right now. And I would like to know why he(B)even had the right to object to a warrant when he was in contempt in the first place."
CSA: "Well, two years ago, a man was thrown in jail for nonpayment, and he fought it. The case went before the supreme court, and that was how the law was put in place giving the non-payer the right to object to a warrant. Also, B says he is starting a job on Monday, so we will see how that goes..."
Me: "Did I mention to you that I am a heart surgeon, and I took the afternoon off of work to be at this hearing, which I must admit is an absolute joke."
CSA: "Really? You're file doesn't say that you are a heart surgeon..."
Me: "Well, just because I say something doesn't mean that it is true. He told you that he hasn't been employed for two years, but that isn't what he told the mediator. He admitted to her that he worked for a moving company a year ago, but didn't pay any support while he was employed there. That's why you need to start making him provide proof for the things that he is telling you."
CSA: "I understand your frustration, but that is the law. Unfortunately, he has the right to object. But one thing that is good. The burden of proof is on him. He has already been found in contempt, so he has to either provide payment on that day, or give good reason as to why he cannot pay."
Me: "Are you going to make him prove whatever he tells you? I mean, when he says he has been looking for employment, are you going to make him provide proof of application? Or, if he says that he is starting a job, are you going to make him provide proof of that, like names of employers, contact information, etc."
Well, the conversation went on like that for a few more minutes. If I hear one more person tell me that they understand my frustration, I swear they will get clocked! That CSA lady must have told me that at least five times! I know that she is trained to say that, but if I may give some advice: Don't say that you understand someone's frustration/pain/sorrow/etc. if you have never felt that type of frustration/pain/sorrow/etc. It only pisses the other person off.
I would really like to know why in the state of Wisconsin the DEADBEAT DAD'S have so many rights? What about the childrens' right to be financially supported by both parents? I keep hearing the family court people harping about not being on either parents' side, but instead trying to do what is in the best interest for the children. But more and more, I see the truth. The family court could really care less what is in the best interest of the children. I'm not really sure whose best interest they are looking out for, but I will be sure to keep you posted as I get more information.
As if the child support thing isn't bad enough, but I am also grounded from the gym for the rest of the week. Doctor's orders. Turns out that all the training for the 5ks that I wanted to do later this summer is making my colitis flare up. Sucks...I kinda use the gym as a way to relieve stress, and to find out that for at least a week I am grounded just really sucks.
Well, I'm getting tired, so I'm going to pop off for the night. Just a word to the wise...don't drink and type. Cuz once it's out there, you can't take it back.
Think before you publish...
A
Here's how the conversation went:
Me: "No, obviously you don't know how I feel, because if you had even a small idea, we wouldn't be standing here right now. And I would like to know why he(B)even had the right to object to a warrant when he was in contempt in the first place."
CSA: "Well, two years ago, a man was thrown in jail for nonpayment, and he fought it. The case went before the supreme court, and that was how the law was put in place giving the non-payer the right to object to a warrant. Also, B says he is starting a job on Monday, so we will see how that goes..."
Me: "Did I mention to you that I am a heart surgeon, and I took the afternoon off of work to be at this hearing, which I must admit is an absolute joke."
CSA: "Really? You're file doesn't say that you are a heart surgeon..."
Me: "Well, just because I say something doesn't mean that it is true. He told you that he hasn't been employed for two years, but that isn't what he told the mediator. He admitted to her that he worked for a moving company a year ago, but didn't pay any support while he was employed there. That's why you need to start making him provide proof for the things that he is telling you."
CSA: "I understand your frustration, but that is the law. Unfortunately, he has the right to object. But one thing that is good. The burden of proof is on him. He has already been found in contempt, so he has to either provide payment on that day, or give good reason as to why he cannot pay."
Me: "Are you going to make him prove whatever he tells you? I mean, when he says he has been looking for employment, are you going to make him provide proof of application? Or, if he says that he is starting a job, are you going to make him provide proof of that, like names of employers, contact information, etc."
Well, the conversation went on like that for a few more minutes. If I hear one more person tell me that they understand my frustration, I swear they will get clocked! That CSA lady must have told me that at least five times! I know that she is trained to say that, but if I may give some advice: Don't say that you understand someone's frustration/pain/sorrow/etc. if you have never felt that type of frustration/pain/sorrow/etc. It only pisses the other person off.
I would really like to know why in the state of Wisconsin the DEADBEAT DAD'S have so many rights? What about the childrens' right to be financially supported by both parents? I keep hearing the family court people harping about not being on either parents' side, but instead trying to do what is in the best interest for the children. But more and more, I see the truth. The family court could really care less what is in the best interest of the children. I'm not really sure whose best interest they are looking out for, but I will be sure to keep you posted as I get more information.
As if the child support thing isn't bad enough, but I am also grounded from the gym for the rest of the week. Doctor's orders. Turns out that all the training for the 5ks that I wanted to do later this summer is making my colitis flare up. Sucks...I kinda use the gym as a way to relieve stress, and to find out that for at least a week I am grounded just really sucks.
Well, I'm getting tired, so I'm going to pop off for the night. Just a word to the wise...don't drink and type. Cuz once it's out there, you can't take it back.
Think before you publish...
A
Sunday, June 5, 2011
My first 2-mile...
Good evening fellow bloggers! Hope you all had a great weekend! It was Milk Days down in Harvard, so my kiddos and I spent the weekend vegging out on carnival food, watching the parade, and hanging with family. Good times, good times...
On the way down to IL, I almost hit a boat on the Interstate. Yes, you read correctly, a boat...on the Interstate. Why you ask? Well, what happened was this: we are cruising along singing with the tunes on the radio, when I see what I thought was a small car coming from the opposite direction across the grass. So I did what every sane person would do and wondered what the heck the person driving that "vehicle" was thinking, when I realized that it wasn't a car, but in fact a boat. A red and white striped boat on its trailer coasting in the grass, directly towards where my van was headed. I slammed on my brakes, narrowly avoiding colliding with the rogue watercraft, and the vehicle in the lane beside me (which happened to be a silver late model truck) smashed into it, decimating the boat and sending trailer parts into the air. It was mad crazy! Woke up the babies! So I called 911 and reported what happened, asked K and K if they were okay, and made sure I kept my eyes open for runaway boats for the rest of the trip.
Saturday was my first 2-mile. That was so much fun! I got there at 6:45 to register, then waited till 8 am for the race to start. My mom came with K and K and MacKenzie, which was a nice surprise. I liked having someone there to cheer me on. It made me feel good about myself. Saturday was a hot day. My temp thingy in my van read 83 degrees at 6:30. The race started and ended at Jefferson School. They also had a 10k, but I think I'll do that next year. This being my first real race, I didn't want to overdo it. I got to keep my bib from the race, and I got a printout of my stats. My overall place was 129th, my place according to sex was 62nd, and according to my age group I came in 10th. Total time was 26:32. I'm super happy with that time! To some people, that may not sound like anything spectacular, but this is where I came from: I quit smoking just over 7 months ago, I had a baby 9 months ago, I was hospitalized 6 months ago, and I have NEVER been able to run distances, even before I started smoking. So yeah, I'm really happy with how I did because I gave it my best, and I had a blast doing it. I think I may have found my new habit. There are a couple of 5ks that I would really like to do this summer as well, and this 2-mile gave me a little taste of what those will be like.
Okay, there is something that has been driving me absolutely crazy for a while, and I have to vent, so if you want to stop reading here, I promise I won't be offended...
Have you ever known someone who is always trying to one-up you? Someone who is constantly trying to undermine your good news with something of their own? Whether it has to do with some activity or group their child is involved in or some new hobby they picked up. No matter what you say, they have a better story about the exact same thing. Almost like they are trying to convince you that their life, morals, ways are better than yours (or better yet, trying to convince themselves) I have a friend like that. He doesn't seem to have an identity of his own, he just borrows bits and pieces of other peoples'. You can take any hobby, any moral, any like/dislike and attribute it to one of his peers. It almost seems like he finds a friend and tries to become that person (I know, I totally get visions of The Talented Mr. Ripley when I think about this him), down to the attitudes, the clothing style, the vocabulary, job choices, etc. Now he is doing it to me. I have noticed it getting worse bit by bit, but I'm starting to get a little aggravated. And I don't know how to mention it without sounding snobbish. I mean, doesn't this sound a little second-grade to you "Stop copying me!" (nasally voice and all) I just don't know what to do. I don't want to let this go on any longer because I will end up snapping and probably saying something that I will regret and I would rather not sacrifice the friendship, but at the same time, if I wanted a "swim fan", I would go out and buy the movie...ugh. It's just so darn frustrating. I don't even know if he notices himself doing it. Maybe its a psychological-thing that he can't help, I don't know.
Well, I have to get to bed. Tomorrow is the big day. My first daycare family is starting tomorrow afternoon, so I have to make sure I get enough sleep tonight so I can get the house in order tomorrow morning. You all have a good night, and I'll catch ya on the flipside, lol.
A
On the way down to IL, I almost hit a boat on the Interstate. Yes, you read correctly, a boat...on the Interstate. Why you ask? Well, what happened was this: we are cruising along singing with the tunes on the radio, when I see what I thought was a small car coming from the opposite direction across the grass. So I did what every sane person would do and wondered what the heck the person driving that "vehicle" was thinking, when I realized that it wasn't a car, but in fact a boat. A red and white striped boat on its trailer coasting in the grass, directly towards where my van was headed. I slammed on my brakes, narrowly avoiding colliding with the rogue watercraft, and the vehicle in the lane beside me (which happened to be a silver late model truck) smashed into it, decimating the boat and sending trailer parts into the air. It was mad crazy! Woke up the babies! So I called 911 and reported what happened, asked K and K if they were okay, and made sure I kept my eyes open for runaway boats for the rest of the trip.
Saturday was my first 2-mile. That was so much fun! I got there at 6:45 to register, then waited till 8 am for the race to start. My mom came with K and K and MacKenzie, which was a nice surprise. I liked having someone there to cheer me on. It made me feel good about myself. Saturday was a hot day. My temp thingy in my van read 83 degrees at 6:30. The race started and ended at Jefferson School. They also had a 10k, but I think I'll do that next year. This being my first real race, I didn't want to overdo it. I got to keep my bib from the race, and I got a printout of my stats. My overall place was 129th, my place according to sex was 62nd, and according to my age group I came in 10th. Total time was 26:32. I'm super happy with that time! To some people, that may not sound like anything spectacular, but this is where I came from: I quit smoking just over 7 months ago, I had a baby 9 months ago, I was hospitalized 6 months ago, and I have NEVER been able to run distances, even before I started smoking. So yeah, I'm really happy with how I did because I gave it my best, and I had a blast doing it. I think I may have found my new habit. There are a couple of 5ks that I would really like to do this summer as well, and this 2-mile gave me a little taste of what those will be like.
Okay, there is something that has been driving me absolutely crazy for a while, and I have to vent, so if you want to stop reading here, I promise I won't be offended...
Have you ever known someone who is always trying to one-up you? Someone who is constantly trying to undermine your good news with something of their own? Whether it has to do with some activity or group their child is involved in or some new hobby they picked up. No matter what you say, they have a better story about the exact same thing. Almost like they are trying to convince you that their life, morals, ways are better than yours (or better yet, trying to convince themselves) I have a friend like that. He doesn't seem to have an identity of his own, he just borrows bits and pieces of other peoples'. You can take any hobby, any moral, any like/dislike and attribute it to one of his peers. It almost seems like he finds a friend and tries to become that person (I know, I totally get visions of The Talented Mr. Ripley when I think about this him), down to the attitudes, the clothing style, the vocabulary, job choices, etc. Now he is doing it to me. I have noticed it getting worse bit by bit, but I'm starting to get a little aggravated. And I don't know how to mention it without sounding snobbish. I mean, doesn't this sound a little second-grade to you "Stop copying me!" (nasally voice and all) I just don't know what to do. I don't want to let this go on any longer because I will end up snapping and probably saying something that I will regret and I would rather not sacrifice the friendship, but at the same time, if I wanted a "swim fan", I would go out and buy the movie...ugh. It's just so darn frustrating. I don't even know if he notices himself doing it. Maybe its a psychological-thing that he can't help, I don't know.
Well, I have to get to bed. Tomorrow is the big day. My first daycare family is starting tomorrow afternoon, so I have to make sure I get enough sleep tonight so I can get the house in order tomorrow morning. You all have a good night, and I'll catch ya on the flipside, lol.
A
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Another day in good ole WI...
So, today was pretty uneventful except for a couple notable incidents...new daycare family came to sign. They will be starting next Monday. Well, at least that is the plan. They didn't pay anything yet, and I made sure to make it clear that I require payment before I can start care, so we will see how it goes. I still have to go talk to my neighbors. They expressed some interest in my daycare a couple of weeks ago, and since I have been court ordered to stay in the state (custody reasons, not because I am in any kind of trouble) I would like to see if they are still looking for care for their son. He is just a couple months older than my son. She didn't have an exact date for starting care, she just said sometime between June and August. I am hoping that I can get them to sign for care as well, because that would put me even closer yet to being able to pay my bills.
Anyways, went to workout tonight. Found out Hottie Trainer has a name. But I'll just call him H.T. Well, I introduced myself and asked him out for coffee. Now, for those of you who don't know me, this is a big thing. I have never asked someone out for coffee. And it's not like I'm looking to date, I would just like to get to know some people in the area. He has a g.f. anyways. No, I did not know that prior to asking him to coffee, either. But I told him that I am a single mom and the only time I really get out is when I go to the gym, and I am not interested in dating, and that I would love for his g.f. to come as well. Maybe I can make friends. He gave me his digits, but I don't think I will be calling him. I know how it would make me feel if someone was calling my b.f. and the last thing I want to do is make someone else feel that way. But I gotta admit, I was bold. And what's the worst he could have done? Said no? Well, I can take that.
So, cyberspace blog-readers, that's my news for the night. Signing off,
Be Blessed,
A
Anyways, went to workout tonight. Found out Hottie Trainer has a name. But I'll just call him H.T. Well, I introduced myself and asked him out for coffee. Now, for those of you who don't know me, this is a big thing. I have never asked someone out for coffee. And it's not like I'm looking to date, I would just like to get to know some people in the area. He has a g.f. anyways. No, I did not know that prior to asking him to coffee, either. But I told him that I am a single mom and the only time I really get out is when I go to the gym, and I am not interested in dating, and that I would love for his g.f. to come as well. Maybe I can make friends. He gave me his digits, but I don't think I will be calling him. I know how it would make me feel if someone was calling my b.f. and the last thing I want to do is make someone else feel that way. But I gotta admit, I was bold. And what's the worst he could have done? Said no? Well, I can take that.
So, cyberspace blog-readers, that's my news for the night. Signing off,
Be Blessed,
A
Monday, May 30, 2011
Just keep swimming...
What's up out there in Cyberspace?! So, got some awesome news (well, awesome for me)! I just ran 1.75 miles, 1.5 of which was nonstop! Now, that may not seem like a whole lot to some of you out there, but I have NEVER been able to run even .25 miles, so this is a huge milestone for me (no pun intended). I am trying to train for a couple of 5ks that are coming up later this summer, and I also have a two-mile coming up this Saturday. This membership to Anytime Fitness has really been a lifesaver for me! It's a great way to relieve stress and get the pent up energy out. Plus, since I have started, I have also been eating healthier, and not bingeing out on the junk food so much. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments where I eat much more than I should, but I have gotten to the point that I know my triggers, and I try to stay away from them. Running seems so much easier for me now than it used to. But I'm also a non-smoker now, which I'm sure makes a huge difference.
Went down to IL for the weekend. It went well. I had a good time, which I usually do when I go down there. Didn't do a whole lot. Went for a run, though. I don't know if it was two miles or not, but it sure felt like it. And let me tell ya something: running on the road is way different than running on a treadmill. I got winded a whole lot faster, but I'm sure I was probably running faster off the treadmill than I do when I am on it.
New daycare family is coming tomorrow morning to sign and pay. They will be starting this week. I am so excited to finally get someone through the door! I'm praying that this will be a turning point for me when it comes to daycare. A lot of people have told me that it is always hardest to get your first family in the door, but after that, it gets easier. I guess because to prospective daycare families, it looks better if you already have children enrolled in your daycare. Also, I have some neighbors down the hall that have shown interest in my daycare as well. I hope that they are still looking. I emailed the wife, but haven't heard anything back from her yet. I suppose that I could just walk down there, but I don't want to seem desperate.
Okay, so I now have a blister on the inside of my left foot from running. Something is telling me that I don't have the right running shoes. I will have to try to save up for some better quality ones. I saw some Nikes at Savers for $25. They are in my size and seem to be in pretty good condition yet. I can't afford a new pair of good running shoes, so I will have to make do with some good used ones for now. Maybe when I get more daycare clients in the door and I am caught up on my bills, I can save up some money for some good quality shoes. I mean, doing research and finding out what shoes will be the best for my running needs. Because running has become one of my new favorite hobbies (along with talking to you, of course, lol).
Milk Days is next weekend. It will be a lot different this year. R and her family won't be there because S is graduating, and M will be going to the land. Usually we go out drinking, and this year I don't know what will be going on. Maybe I will ask C.J. if he wouldn't mind me joining him if my mom doesn't want to go out. Please don't take all of this the wrong way, I am definitely no lush, ask anyone that knows me. As a matter of fact, Milk Days is one of the few times that I go out the whole year, so I kinda look forward to it. I don't get out much (besides working out), so I really enjoy when I do get to get out. I love being a mom, but I also appreciate having some time to do things that I enjoy. I believe that it is imperative to my keeping my sanity to get out and do things for myself.
Well, gots to get my sleep sometime tonight. Signing off for the night,
Stay blessed,
A
Went down to IL for the weekend. It went well. I had a good time, which I usually do when I go down there. Didn't do a whole lot. Went for a run, though. I don't know if it was two miles or not, but it sure felt like it. And let me tell ya something: running on the road is way different than running on a treadmill. I got winded a whole lot faster, but I'm sure I was probably running faster off the treadmill than I do when I am on it.
New daycare family is coming tomorrow morning to sign and pay. They will be starting this week. I am so excited to finally get someone through the door! I'm praying that this will be a turning point for me when it comes to daycare. A lot of people have told me that it is always hardest to get your first family in the door, but after that, it gets easier. I guess because to prospective daycare families, it looks better if you already have children enrolled in your daycare. Also, I have some neighbors down the hall that have shown interest in my daycare as well. I hope that they are still looking. I emailed the wife, but haven't heard anything back from her yet. I suppose that I could just walk down there, but I don't want to seem desperate.
Okay, so I now have a blister on the inside of my left foot from running. Something is telling me that I don't have the right running shoes. I will have to try to save up for some better quality ones. I saw some Nikes at Savers for $25. They are in my size and seem to be in pretty good condition yet. I can't afford a new pair of good running shoes, so I will have to make do with some good used ones for now. Maybe when I get more daycare clients in the door and I am caught up on my bills, I can save up some money for some good quality shoes. I mean, doing research and finding out what shoes will be the best for my running needs. Because running has become one of my new favorite hobbies (along with talking to you, of course, lol).
Milk Days is next weekend. It will be a lot different this year. R and her family won't be there because S is graduating, and M will be going to the land. Usually we go out drinking, and this year I don't know what will be going on. Maybe I will ask C.J. if he wouldn't mind me joining him if my mom doesn't want to go out. Please don't take all of this the wrong way, I am definitely no lush, ask anyone that knows me. As a matter of fact, Milk Days is one of the few times that I go out the whole year, so I kinda look forward to it. I don't get out much (besides working out), so I really enjoy when I do get to get out. I love being a mom, but I also appreciate having some time to do things that I enjoy. I believe that it is imperative to my keeping my sanity to get out and do things for myself.
Well, gots to get my sleep sometime tonight. Signing off for the night,
Stay blessed,
A
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Gotta love the system....or not
Hello to you all in cyberspace! Hope you are finding yourselves to be blessed this evening. As for me, I know I am, even on a day like today when I can't really feel it. Went to mediation. Now, I thought that mediators were just there to facilitate and to make sure things stay on track. They are supposed to be unbiased and non-opinionated. Apparently that memo didn't reach our mediator's desk. So picture this: me, B, and our wonderful mediator-lady (let's call her C for the sake of my not getting carpal tunnel) sitting at a round table (I don't know about you, but I just got visions of King Arthur and his Knights, lol). B is giving his regular excuses on why he isn't working (no GED, no diploma, he's just too overqualified to work at BURGER KING, yada yada blah blah blah) and pretty much admitting that he has no way to provide for our children short of sitting on the couch with them and watching Spongebob Squarepants. He has no place of his own, no job, no car, no license. His family would be supporting him and our children, as well as becoming a taxi service. Now, I pipe in and say that I do not believe that it would be in our childrens' best interest for us to have 50/50 placement until he has a steady, stable job, a place of his own to live, and his own transportation and drivers license. You know what C said? She said that I was being unreasonable!!! Yes, that's right folks, our unbiased, non-opinionated mediator seemed to have forgotten what her job was. Tell me please, what is so unreasonable about wanting B to grow up and be responsible, something that hasn't been required from since, well birth? And as if that wasn't bad enough, she went on to say that she doesn't understand why the child support agency will revoke someone's driving priveleges and throw them in jail if they don't pay support. Well, golly gee whiz, she seems to be very opinionated now, doesn't she? On top of it all, she was okay with him not being able to provide for our children! She said that that isn't the issue. Whereas I disagree. If he wants 50/50, he has to be able to PROVE that he can provide for our children, since essentially they will be with him half the time. The system makes me sick to my stomach! AND THEN... I got the letter from the judge denying my request for an interim order permitting me to reside in IL with the children where we can have the support we need, as well as a roof over our heads. His super-important reason for objecting to that: "Because I don't want you to move down by your family because I don't like them and they don't like me, and I don't want them to help you." Wow, talk about control issues!
So, needless to say, I left the courthouse pretty pissed off. Called my mom to vent, then decided that my being angry wasn't ruining B or C's days, so what's the point? Be pissed, deal with it, and be done. So I did just that. I let my anger fuel me. In one hour after we got out of court, I managed to talk with my landlords and they agreed to let me stay, and work with me on the rent issue, as well as contacting one of my potential daycare clients to see if they were still interested. Turns out that they hadn't even looked into any other daycare facilities because they liked mine so much. They will be coming over Sunday to go over paperwork and sign the contract. They will be starting next week! So today turned out to be a pretty productive day.
Talked to K and K during dinner tonight. We decided to re-institute the Thursday night family meetings. We talked about how they have been feeling with everything. They both said that they are sad. They said they miss being a family. I told them the we are still a family, and we always will be, but that their father and I cannot get along. I said that we decided that it would be better for them if we separated so that they would not have to see us arguing all the time. And we can be better parents apart than we can together. I don't know if it was the right thing to say, but it seemed to help. Then, I asked if there was something that I could do to help them. They actually had a very good idea. They said that it would be nice if we could do all the cleaning in one day and then we can spend the next day having fun and playing games. Basically they were saying "Mom, you're too obsessed with cleaning. Don't clean so much and play with us more." I think that I may just have to take them up on that. I could use some good old-fashioned playtime with my babes. Have I mentioned lately that I have the best kiddos in the world? Well, I do. And that is my totally biased opinion, lol.
Although I wish that mediation would have gone better, I can see where I have been blessed today. I got to pick up K and K from school, spend time with my babies, watch a movie with them, see them laugh, and have a great convo with them. And you know what? I'll take that anyday, hands down.
Well, I'm going to head off to bed before my eyes completely turn to sandpaper.
"The Lord is my rick and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies." Psalm 18:2-3
Rejoicing in my suffering...
A
So, needless to say, I left the courthouse pretty pissed off. Called my mom to vent, then decided that my being angry wasn't ruining B or C's days, so what's the point? Be pissed, deal with it, and be done. So I did just that. I let my anger fuel me. In one hour after we got out of court, I managed to talk with my landlords and they agreed to let me stay, and work with me on the rent issue, as well as contacting one of my potential daycare clients to see if they were still interested. Turns out that they hadn't even looked into any other daycare facilities because they liked mine so much. They will be coming over Sunday to go over paperwork and sign the contract. They will be starting next week! So today turned out to be a pretty productive day.
Talked to K and K during dinner tonight. We decided to re-institute the Thursday night family meetings. We talked about how they have been feeling with everything. They both said that they are sad. They said they miss being a family. I told them the we are still a family, and we always will be, but that their father and I cannot get along. I said that we decided that it would be better for them if we separated so that they would not have to see us arguing all the time. And we can be better parents apart than we can together. I don't know if it was the right thing to say, but it seemed to help. Then, I asked if there was something that I could do to help them. They actually had a very good idea. They said that it would be nice if we could do all the cleaning in one day and then we can spend the next day having fun and playing games. Basically they were saying "Mom, you're too obsessed with cleaning. Don't clean so much and play with us more." I think that I may just have to take them up on that. I could use some good old-fashioned playtime with my babes. Have I mentioned lately that I have the best kiddos in the world? Well, I do. And that is my totally biased opinion, lol.
Although I wish that mediation would have gone better, I can see where I have been blessed today. I got to pick up K and K from school, spend time with my babies, watch a movie with them, see them laugh, and have a great convo with them. And you know what? I'll take that anyday, hands down.
Well, I'm going to head off to bed before my eyes completely turn to sandpaper.
"The Lord is my rick and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies." Psalm 18:2-3
Rejoicing in my suffering...
A
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Don't stress, don't stress, don't stress...the mantra of the night
Good evening, fellow bloggers and internet buddies! Hope everything is going well with you all! Things have gotten better since last I was online...headache is gone! Also, I jogged .81 miles last night. For those of you who don't know me very well, that is a huge accomplishment! I have never been able to run more than .25 miles, and doing that much makes me feel awesome!
So, I have decided that I want to participate in a 5k or a biathlon or triathlon or something of that sort. I am looking for one down in Illinois, since that is where I will be in a few weeks. I figure that since I have been spending so much time getting back into shape, I may as well put it to good use and train for something. Then I have a goal to work toward. I know that it sounds a bit on the crazy side, but I am trying to do new things, and I haven't done that sort of thing before. Plus, it kinda sounds like fun!
I called the child support agency earlier today and found out that B put in a written objection to the warrant that was going to be filed. Now riddle me this: how come he has the right to object when he hasn't paid support for two years, he hasn't held a job in two years, AND has already been to court about not paying and was given 90 days to start paying (which he hasn't done) or he would be thrown in jail. How exactly is that the child support agency at work? Jeez, if that's how they run the show, then I should apply for a job over there! I can sit on my butt and say niceities into the phone just as well as the next person, so that would be a perfect job for me! NOT! Grrrrrr, I just don't understand why he seems to get all the breaks!
As if that isn't bad enough, he and I have mediation tomorrow as well. I know already that we aren't going to get anywhere with things, so they may as well appoint the GAL and set up a court date for that. Because there is no way that I will agree to what he is proposing! I really don't want to go to mediation because I would rather not see him. And I want to talk to him even less. I don't trust him, I don't trust his motives, and frankly he makes me sick to my stomach.
Went to SCUBA tonight. By SCUBA I don't mean that I am taking diving lessons, either. River of Life church has Bible study on Wednesday nights, and it's called SCUBA because we dive deeper into the Word. Tonight we watched Collission, a debate between anti-theist Christopher Hitchens, and Reformed Presbyterian Pastor Douglas Wilson. It was very good. I thought that it was really interesting to see the atheist argument to things like truth and beauty. To say that truth is objective is kind of funny in a way. It basically means that my truth can be different to your truth, and it would still be truth. For instance, morals...say I think it's okay to hi-jack cars. Now morally we know that it is wrong, not to mention against the law, but since I think that it is okay, that means that I should not get thrown into jail for hi-jacking your car. Because truth is objective and when truth is objective, then so are morals. There are no absolutes in the world then.
On the way home, my dad (who had accompanied me to SCUBA) asked me: why does God make cancer cells that kill people? It really ticks me off when he asks me questions like that because I am not God (clearly, lol), so how can I answer for Him? So I asked my dad: do you believe in God? He said yes. Then I asked: do you trust Him? He said yes. So I said, then trust that He has a reason for everything, and sometimes we don't know or understand those reasons. He got mad at me then because I didn't answer his question. He can really push my buttons sometimes, ya know? So I asked him a question. I asked him: why does God make thunderstorms so beautiful? Why did God make the human body work so exquisitely? Why do you only ask questions that sound so doubtful of God yet never question His handiwork when it comes to the good stuff? So needless to say, the rest of the ride home was quite silent, which was fine with me. I know that I probably shouldn't be like that, but I tend to get offended when someone takes digs at my Heavenly Father. Especially when they aren't asking out of curiosity because they are searching, but rather to start an argument. God is good all the time, even when I can't see it or wrap my little head around it. I have to believe that, I have to know that He is in total control, or I would lose my mind...
Well peeps, I'm signing off for the night! But before I do, I would like to ask you to pray for me as I go to mediation tomorrow. Pray that God gives me strength and calms my nerves. Also pray that He shuts my mouth when it needs to be shut and opens it when it needs to be open. Thanks all! God Bless!
A
So, I have decided that I want to participate in a 5k or a biathlon or triathlon or something of that sort. I am looking for one down in Illinois, since that is where I will be in a few weeks. I figure that since I have been spending so much time getting back into shape, I may as well put it to good use and train for something. Then I have a goal to work toward. I know that it sounds a bit on the crazy side, but I am trying to do new things, and I haven't done that sort of thing before. Plus, it kinda sounds like fun!
I called the child support agency earlier today and found out that B put in a written objection to the warrant that was going to be filed. Now riddle me this: how come he has the right to object when he hasn't paid support for two years, he hasn't held a job in two years, AND has already been to court about not paying and was given 90 days to start paying (which he hasn't done) or he would be thrown in jail. How exactly is that the child support agency at work? Jeez, if that's how they run the show, then I should apply for a job over there! I can sit on my butt and say niceities into the phone just as well as the next person, so that would be a perfect job for me! NOT! Grrrrrr, I just don't understand why he seems to get all the breaks!
As if that isn't bad enough, he and I have mediation tomorrow as well. I know already that we aren't going to get anywhere with things, so they may as well appoint the GAL and set up a court date for that. Because there is no way that I will agree to what he is proposing! I really don't want to go to mediation because I would rather not see him. And I want to talk to him even less. I don't trust him, I don't trust his motives, and frankly he makes me sick to my stomach.
Went to SCUBA tonight. By SCUBA I don't mean that I am taking diving lessons, either. River of Life church has Bible study on Wednesday nights, and it's called SCUBA because we dive deeper into the Word. Tonight we watched Collission, a debate between anti-theist Christopher Hitchens, and Reformed Presbyterian Pastor Douglas Wilson. It was very good. I thought that it was really interesting to see the atheist argument to things like truth and beauty. To say that truth is objective is kind of funny in a way. It basically means that my truth can be different to your truth, and it would still be truth. For instance, morals...say I think it's okay to hi-jack cars. Now morally we know that it is wrong, not to mention against the law, but since I think that it is okay, that means that I should not get thrown into jail for hi-jacking your car. Because truth is objective and when truth is objective, then so are morals. There are no absolutes in the world then.
On the way home, my dad (who had accompanied me to SCUBA) asked me: why does God make cancer cells that kill people? It really ticks me off when he asks me questions like that because I am not God (clearly, lol), so how can I answer for Him? So I asked my dad: do you believe in God? He said yes. Then I asked: do you trust Him? He said yes. So I said, then trust that He has a reason for everything, and sometimes we don't know or understand those reasons. He got mad at me then because I didn't answer his question. He can really push my buttons sometimes, ya know? So I asked him a question. I asked him: why does God make thunderstorms so beautiful? Why did God make the human body work so exquisitely? Why do you only ask questions that sound so doubtful of God yet never question His handiwork when it comes to the good stuff? So needless to say, the rest of the ride home was quite silent, which was fine with me. I know that I probably shouldn't be like that, but I tend to get offended when someone takes digs at my Heavenly Father. Especially when they aren't asking out of curiosity because they are searching, but rather to start an argument. God is good all the time, even when I can't see it or wrap my little head around it. I have to believe that, I have to know that He is in total control, or I would lose my mind...
Well peeps, I'm signing off for the night! But before I do, I would like to ask you to pray for me as I go to mediation tomorrow. Pray that God gives me strength and calms my nerves. Also pray that He shuts my mouth when it needs to be shut and opens it when it needs to be open. Thanks all! God Bless!
A
Monday, May 23, 2011
The trials of being a single mom, among other things...
Today was a rough day. Woke up to J having gotten sick sometime in the night (don't know when cuz I didn't hear anything), then falling back to sleep in her own vomit. Not the way I would normally like to start the day, but whatever. So needless to say, she got to take a bubble bath bright and early, much to her delight. I called her grandmother on her father's side (which is where she was part of yesterday) to see if anyone over in that direction had been sick lately, and she suggested that she may have caught something from one of her older sisters. Duh, now I would know if K or K were sick lately, and if I thought that it may have come from one of them, I would not have called her. I tell ya, some people....but let's not get into that...
Anyways, after her nice bubble bath, she got the diarrhea. Poor thing...but I have to say, she doesn't let anything get her down. I wish I could have that kind of energy and spunk when I don't feel well. On a good note, though, she didn't get sick all day, and the diarrhea went away as well. Maybe it was just something that she ate.
Had a headache earlier tonight. What a night for my dad to stand me up. He usually comes over after he gets off of work and has supper. It gives me a chance to go workout and blow off some steam. Have you ever had one of those nights when you know that you just need a break? That you need to get away, even if it's only for a few minutes? That was my night. I don't know what happened. I just started to feel so overwhelmed all of a sudden, like I was suffocating (not literally, figuratively). J wouldn't stay in her crib, K and K were jibber-jabbering instead of sleeping, and A was fussing in his crib. I haven't ever gotten to the point where I have lost all patience before, but tonight I got pretty close. And the worst part about it is that I could see myself getting closer and closer to that point, and I didn't know what to do to stop it. That's scary...I know that I'm not a perfect parent, nor will I ever be, but I take my role as a mother very seriously. God has trusted me with these children, and I don't want to let Him down. There are times when I feel that I am failing, and tonight is one of those times...breaks my heart...what's done is done though, tomorrow is another day. God's mercies are new every day.
Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother, and compared to what my life was like before, I wouldn't trade where I am now to have what I had back then (which wasn't much, believe me). But there are times when I wish I could have a break. Not a workout break, but a mental break. Where I didn't have to think about what bills I have to pay, when I will have to buy more diapers, or worry about, well everything. There are times when reality hits and I realize that I am both a mother and father, a protector, a psychologist, a doctor, a taxi service, a teacher, a disciplinarian, a cook, a maid, and many other things. And I begin to feel very overwhelmed. And I know that if I didn't have Jesus to lean on, I would crumble under the pressure. I am not a strong person. I dislike confrontation and avoid it at all costs. My feelings get hurt very easily, and I spend the better part of my day terrified of what may (but most likely won't) happen. I cry myself to sleep more nights than not.
I almost laugh when people say that they think that I am a strong person. What they see is not me, but God working through me. I have heard many times that God doesn't give you more than you can handle. I don't know if I really believe that. My pastor says it differently. God ALWAYS gives you more than you can handle, so you lean on Him for strength. It keeps us humble. I pray that He keeps me humble, that I never think that I can do any of this on my own, without Him. Struggles will either solidify your faith, or make you lose it. Although I don't think that it is so much a matter of losing faith, but of not having it in the first place, or having it in the wrong thing.
Well, I am getting tired, so I am going to sign off for the evening. Talk at you all later! Have a good one, and God bless!
A
Anyways, after her nice bubble bath, she got the diarrhea. Poor thing...but I have to say, she doesn't let anything get her down. I wish I could have that kind of energy and spunk when I don't feel well. On a good note, though, she didn't get sick all day, and the diarrhea went away as well. Maybe it was just something that she ate.
Had a headache earlier tonight. What a night for my dad to stand me up. He usually comes over after he gets off of work and has supper. It gives me a chance to go workout and blow off some steam. Have you ever had one of those nights when you know that you just need a break? That you need to get away, even if it's only for a few minutes? That was my night. I don't know what happened. I just started to feel so overwhelmed all of a sudden, like I was suffocating (not literally, figuratively). J wouldn't stay in her crib, K and K were jibber-jabbering instead of sleeping, and A was fussing in his crib. I haven't ever gotten to the point where I have lost all patience before, but tonight I got pretty close. And the worst part about it is that I could see myself getting closer and closer to that point, and I didn't know what to do to stop it. That's scary...I know that I'm not a perfect parent, nor will I ever be, but I take my role as a mother very seriously. God has trusted me with these children, and I don't want to let Him down. There are times when I feel that I am failing, and tonight is one of those times...breaks my heart...what's done is done though, tomorrow is another day. God's mercies are new every day.
Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother, and compared to what my life was like before, I wouldn't trade where I am now to have what I had back then (which wasn't much, believe me). But there are times when I wish I could have a break. Not a workout break, but a mental break. Where I didn't have to think about what bills I have to pay, when I will have to buy more diapers, or worry about, well everything. There are times when reality hits and I realize that I am both a mother and father, a protector, a psychologist, a doctor, a taxi service, a teacher, a disciplinarian, a cook, a maid, and many other things. And I begin to feel very overwhelmed. And I know that if I didn't have Jesus to lean on, I would crumble under the pressure. I am not a strong person. I dislike confrontation and avoid it at all costs. My feelings get hurt very easily, and I spend the better part of my day terrified of what may (but most likely won't) happen. I cry myself to sleep more nights than not.
I almost laugh when people say that they think that I am a strong person. What they see is not me, but God working through me. I have heard many times that God doesn't give you more than you can handle. I don't know if I really believe that. My pastor says it differently. God ALWAYS gives you more than you can handle, so you lean on Him for strength. It keeps us humble. I pray that He keeps me humble, that I never think that I can do any of this on my own, without Him. Struggles will either solidify your faith, or make you lose it. Although I don't think that it is so much a matter of losing faith, but of not having it in the first place, or having it in the wrong thing.
Well, I am getting tired, so I am going to sign off for the evening. Talk at you all later! Have a good one, and God bless!
A
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Getting up on my soapbox, y'all watch out!!! LOL
Hey all you fellow bloggers (and blog readers) out in Cyberspace! Hope you're all having a fantastic evening (day, whatever time it is right now)! Just got home from working out, and let me tell ya, I needed it tonight! Did some kickboxing, got rid of some stress, yep life is good. (Don't worry, I showered afterward, so I don't stink, lol)
So, I'm reading (or shall I say re-reading) John MacArthur's Hard to Believe, and man am I fired up! Whew! Gots to get some stuff off my chest! For anyone out there who hasn't had the opportunity to read some of MacArthur's work, I highly recommend it. Anyways, back to the point. In a nutshell, the book is about how many churches today water down the Gospel to make it easier to swallow. Many churches nowadays turn Jesus into Santa Claus or the Genie in the bottle (the leprachaun at the end of the rainbow, insert your own sweet and fluffy visual here...). I would like to know: what happened to reading the Bible, and preaching THAT Jesus? Because some people may just get a little miffed, feel a little uncomfortable? Let me tell you something, if you leave church on Sunday and don't feel convicted, don't feel that urge to have a closer relationship with the Jesus of the Bible, then maybe it's time to find a new church.
I'm probably not going to make many friends with this post, but I don't care, I'm up on my soapbox, so I'm going to tell it how I see it...God really doesn't care about your feelings, He cares about your holiness. Now, here's where some of you are going to try to quote John 3:16: "For God so loved the world..." but too many times, that's as far as some people get. If you stop reading right there, you are making an egregious mistake...you miss the message of the gospel. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life" For God so loved the world (or better yet, HIS CHOSEN), that he sent his son to: live a sinless life, perform MANY miracles, raise the dead, be betrayed by one of His disciples, be handed over to His enemies, be beaten beyond recognition, die a criminal's death, be hung on a cross, all so that whoever believes in Him (Jesus Christ, the risen Son of God) may have eternal life...if none of this sounds familiar, please look it up, what you read will blow your mind.
Jesus did not come to give you warm fuzzy feelings. As a matter of fact, the Biblical Jesus is the one who called the pharisees and sadducees a "brood of vipers", who overturned tables in the temple, driving out those who were buying and selling. He declared that He was the ONLY way. "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. NO ONE comes to the Father except through ME" (John14:6, emphasis mine) He even called Peter, one of His own disciples, Satan for rebuking Him. Doesn't sound very warm and fuzzy, does it? He spoke in parables so those who weren't His own wouldn't understand, the stories would sound foolish and strange. Now, if you believe that He came to save EVERYONE, then there would be no need for the parables, right? Jesus Himself explains the purpose of the parables in Matthew (Matthew 13:10-17)
What happens when we water down the Gospel to make it easier to swallow? We lead others to their doom. Imagine a bunch of blind people walking, no running, towards a cliff, and you're standing there cheering them on so they feel good about it! Not very loving...
Whereas the Gospel may be hard to swallow for many, but it's truth. And the truth will set you free...
So, signing off for the night...I hope that this just may piss some of you off enough to pull that Bible off the shelf, wipe off the dust, open it up, and read it. Find out for yourself what the Bible says about Jesus, our depravity (that's for another time), and our need for a Savior. Find out what the Gospel is really about.
Till next time....
God Bless,
Amber
So, I'm reading (or shall I say re-reading) John MacArthur's Hard to Believe, and man am I fired up! Whew! Gots to get some stuff off my chest! For anyone out there who hasn't had the opportunity to read some of MacArthur's work, I highly recommend it. Anyways, back to the point. In a nutshell, the book is about how many churches today water down the Gospel to make it easier to swallow. Many churches nowadays turn Jesus into Santa Claus or the Genie in the bottle (the leprachaun at the end of the rainbow, insert your own sweet and fluffy visual here...). I would like to know: what happened to reading the Bible, and preaching THAT Jesus? Because some people may just get a little miffed, feel a little uncomfortable? Let me tell you something, if you leave church on Sunday and don't feel convicted, don't feel that urge to have a closer relationship with the Jesus of the Bible, then maybe it's time to find a new church.
I'm probably not going to make many friends with this post, but I don't care, I'm up on my soapbox, so I'm going to tell it how I see it...God really doesn't care about your feelings, He cares about your holiness. Now, here's where some of you are going to try to quote John 3:16: "For God so loved the world..." but too many times, that's as far as some people get. If you stop reading right there, you are making an egregious mistake...you miss the message of the gospel. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life" For God so loved the world (or better yet, HIS CHOSEN), that he sent his son to: live a sinless life, perform MANY miracles, raise the dead, be betrayed by one of His disciples, be handed over to His enemies, be beaten beyond recognition, die a criminal's death, be hung on a cross, all so that whoever believes in Him (Jesus Christ, the risen Son of God) may have eternal life...if none of this sounds familiar, please look it up, what you read will blow your mind.
Jesus did not come to give you warm fuzzy feelings. As a matter of fact, the Biblical Jesus is the one who called the pharisees and sadducees a "brood of vipers", who overturned tables in the temple, driving out those who were buying and selling. He declared that He was the ONLY way. "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. NO ONE comes to the Father except through ME" (John14:6, emphasis mine) He even called Peter, one of His own disciples, Satan for rebuking Him. Doesn't sound very warm and fuzzy, does it? He spoke in parables so those who weren't His own wouldn't understand, the stories would sound foolish and strange. Now, if you believe that He came to save EVERYONE, then there would be no need for the parables, right? Jesus Himself explains the purpose of the parables in Matthew (Matthew 13:10-17)
What happens when we water down the Gospel to make it easier to swallow? We lead others to their doom. Imagine a bunch of blind people walking, no running, towards a cliff, and you're standing there cheering them on so they feel good about it! Not very loving...
Whereas the Gospel may be hard to swallow for many, but it's truth. And the truth will set you free...
So, signing off for the night...I hope that this just may piss some of you off enough to pull that Bible off the shelf, wipe off the dust, open it up, and read it. Find out for yourself what the Bible says about Jesus, our depravity (that's for another time), and our need for a Savior. Find out what the Gospel is really about.
Till next time....
God Bless,
Amber
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Moving...and moving on
Hey all you readers (and fellow bloggers)! Welcome to my blog. Where I write about life, love, family, and God. I love to write, and find it very theraputic. And maybe, just maybe, one of you will read what I have written and it will touch your heart...that's my prayer, to impact someone.
I'm a single mom of four beautiful children. My oldest is 8, my youngest is 8 months. I love my children and next to God, they come first. Everyday I pray that whatever I may have screwed up, God will use it to grow them and me. Right now we live two miles from their father, which isn't quite working out. He takes them for granted, doesn't know how to appreciate what he has and he never has. I try not to let the bitterness consume me, but there are days that it gets really hard. Like when someone has a bad dream, or when the two oldest girls ask why daddy is always at his friend's house, but he never comes to see them. I try to remember what the Bible says (He is the father to the fatherless), but when the tangible always lets you down, how do you trust the intangible?
So, school is almost done for the year (where has the time gone), and we are starting to pack up our stuff. In just over three weeks, we will be moving to Illinois to live with my grandmother. I'm going through and deciding what will make the first cut, and what will be donated. Most of our bigger things will be sold, and in the end, I want to take with us as little as possible since we won't have much space. My feelings are very mixed at the moment. I jump between excitement at starting over and dread at the fact that I can't do it all on my own. I worry about how this will all impact my children, as we have moved quite a bit over the past year or so. I just want to find a place where they can grow up and call home. I know that home isn't so much a place as the feeling and who you are building it with, but I also know how hard it is to meet new people and form new friendships. I'm trusting God on this one. I have been praying throughout these past few months that if I am supposed to go to Illinois, that he will slam every other door. I don't get subtleties sometimes, so He has to be very blunt with me (I am a blonde, you know lol).
Called child support earlier today to check on the status of the bench warrant. It finally got approved by the attorney, now it sits on the Family Court Commissioner's desk for five business days unless he wants to object to it. Pretty dumb system, if you ask me. Let me give you some background info in case you don't know me: been a single mommy for two years. He hasn't wanted placement or custody, nor has he worked or paid child support for two years. He lives with (off of) his mom, who is a classic enabler but won't admit it. Now all of a sudden when I want to move to make sure that my children and I can have a roof over our heads, he wants to file for 50/50. This from a guy who couldn't make it to K & K's parent-teacher conferences because they were scheduled on his birthday and he was planning on going out to the bar that night. I have been fighting with child support agency for almost a year now to get a warrant and now that it is within reach, they do this. (More on that whole thing at a later date) Let's just say that I am a little disappointed. I have been doing what I am supposed to do, followed all of the rules, and it seems that he just keeps catching all of the breaks. Agh, it's a frustrating thing.
Of all of the things that I am saddest about when it comes to moving, the one thing that stands out is definitely leaving my church and the family that I have there. Let me tell you something: all of you believers out there, and those of you that aren't quite there yet, if you find a home church that guides you and helps you to grow, hang on to it with all you can. I know that it isn't about the church, that it's about your relationship with Christ, but coming from someone that doesn't make friends that easily or trust others, a good home church can really be a God send (pun intended). My home church is River Of Life (yes Bob, I plugged it, lol) in Portage WI. The people that I have met there and formed bonds and connections with will be a part of my life forever (sorry guys, you can't get rid of me that easily). They have encouraged me, they have challenged me, they have been brutally honest with me because I needed to hear it, and through it all, they have been there for me when I have needed prayer. Yep, that's the only thing that will make this move more difficult.
Well all, I'm logging off for the night. Until next time, stay strong, trust in the Lord, and be blessed.
God Bless,
Amber
I'm a single mom of four beautiful children. My oldest is 8, my youngest is 8 months. I love my children and next to God, they come first. Everyday I pray that whatever I may have screwed up, God will use it to grow them and me. Right now we live two miles from their father, which isn't quite working out. He takes them for granted, doesn't know how to appreciate what he has and he never has. I try not to let the bitterness consume me, but there are days that it gets really hard. Like when someone has a bad dream, or when the two oldest girls ask why daddy is always at his friend's house, but he never comes to see them. I try to remember what the Bible says (He is the father to the fatherless), but when the tangible always lets you down, how do you trust the intangible?
So, school is almost done for the year (where has the time gone), and we are starting to pack up our stuff. In just over three weeks, we will be moving to Illinois to live with my grandmother. I'm going through and deciding what will make the first cut, and what will be donated. Most of our bigger things will be sold, and in the end, I want to take with us as little as possible since we won't have much space. My feelings are very mixed at the moment. I jump between excitement at starting over and dread at the fact that I can't do it all on my own. I worry about how this will all impact my children, as we have moved quite a bit over the past year or so. I just want to find a place where they can grow up and call home. I know that home isn't so much a place as the feeling and who you are building it with, but I also know how hard it is to meet new people and form new friendships. I'm trusting God on this one. I have been praying throughout these past few months that if I am supposed to go to Illinois, that he will slam every other door. I don't get subtleties sometimes, so He has to be very blunt with me (I am a blonde, you know lol).
Called child support earlier today to check on the status of the bench warrant. It finally got approved by the attorney, now it sits on the Family Court Commissioner's desk for five business days unless he wants to object to it. Pretty dumb system, if you ask me. Let me give you some background info in case you don't know me: been a single mommy for two years. He hasn't wanted placement or custody, nor has he worked or paid child support for two years. He lives with (off of) his mom, who is a classic enabler but won't admit it. Now all of a sudden when I want to move to make sure that my children and I can have a roof over our heads, he wants to file for 50/50. This from a guy who couldn't make it to K & K's parent-teacher conferences because they were scheduled on his birthday and he was planning on going out to the bar that night. I have been fighting with child support agency for almost a year now to get a warrant and now that it is within reach, they do this. (More on that whole thing at a later date) Let's just say that I am a little disappointed. I have been doing what I am supposed to do, followed all of the rules, and it seems that he just keeps catching all of the breaks. Agh, it's a frustrating thing.
Of all of the things that I am saddest about when it comes to moving, the one thing that stands out is definitely leaving my church and the family that I have there. Let me tell you something: all of you believers out there, and those of you that aren't quite there yet, if you find a home church that guides you and helps you to grow, hang on to it with all you can. I know that it isn't about the church, that it's about your relationship with Christ, but coming from someone that doesn't make friends that easily or trust others, a good home church can really be a God send (pun intended). My home church is River Of Life (yes Bob, I plugged it, lol) in Portage WI. The people that I have met there and formed bonds and connections with will be a part of my life forever (sorry guys, you can't get rid of me that easily). They have encouraged me, they have challenged me, they have been brutally honest with me because I needed to hear it, and through it all, they have been there for me when I have needed prayer. Yep, that's the only thing that will make this move more difficult.
Well all, I'm logging off for the night. Until next time, stay strong, trust in the Lord, and be blessed.
God Bless,
Amber
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